1st week of school (2011)

           Well, I felt kinda relax in this very 1^st week of my senior year. I felt nothing physically different or special for being a senior except I’ll have to take an important examination (SPM) before this year ends…. Probably because I’m short, seniors usually are tall u know~ LOL. There’s not much homeworks for my class because there were some teacher didn’t attend the class. Maybe they have some important meetings or whatever it is~ 

           Since my tuition classes end at 10pm in weekdays *yawn* (And its tiring, but I’ll get used to it sooner or later), I’ll have to spend my recess time in the library to do my school home works with my friends …. Which is a very good idea, my friends suggested this idea. ^^v And I can save more money than the other years cuz I wont have to spend my money on the food during recess. XD! NICE!

Sadly there are some bad news… or… challenges that I’ll have to face soon, 1^st, I’ll have like a tons of school home works and I’m pretty sure I’ll need to stay up late night to finish these craps. ><’’ So, tireness is my No.1 enemy. Cooofffeeeeee!!!! >A< 2^nd, I’ll be VERY VERY VERY stressful this year around May maybe. Hope thatz not gonna drive me crazy and boots my anger high up~ I might kill people by accidently… 0_0’’……… …..Nah~ I was juz kidding.. Ha ha ha ha~ But still, its possible. T^T ………………………………………………………….I think I need to pay a visit to a doctor…..

Alright now, let’s talk about something else. This year there’s a big change in my daily time table than the other years. U know~ That 3 letters, SPM. I spend most of my time studying and thinking about ‘what to do next’. There’s no time to lose. Every second are important to me now. I’m pretty worry about this March examination because my Form 4 basics (Chemistry, Biology and the worst, Physic) are not so good. I heard they said the 80% of Form 4 syllbus will come out in exam and 20% will be Form 5’s. T^T I’ll be very dead … again.

Oh right! I’ve just remember something! Deric’s going to pay a visit to my house this year March!!! Yeeeaaaaa HOOOOO!!!! I’m so damn super OMG f***ing  excited HAPPY, over the moon … Whoooaaaa HOOOOOO!!!!  XDDD OMG OMG OMG OMG, I’m soo nervous! XD I’m not sure why. I gotta ask Ken and Harry to come as well! I’ll be expecting u, Deric. :D

Gud night. Here's a funny picture I found in google image. ^^

I'm DIFFERENT from the other girls!

I'm a total freak to my class becuz I'm an Emo in the class. Many people call me weirdo too. Lol.

             Well, that’s not the real reasons that make me different from the girls.

Here are some reasons:
~ I enjoy watching WWE (Teenage Fighting is excluded)

~ For some reason I LOVE caterpillar (becuz they r cute!)

~ I dislike girly thingy. :P

~ I love monster.
~ I hate romance.
~ I hate princess.

~ I often use insects’ dead bodies as my house decoration. (But my mom always throw em away~) XP

~ I chat with boyz most of time¡­.. Or u can say¡­ most of my life.. lol!

~ I often say bad words with my sisters at home for FUN!!! XD We keep laughing around.

~ Gothic ROCKS!!!

~ And finally, I’m a psycho. :D

            Now, dun give me that look, ok? Lol! If ur 1 of my close friends. You’ll know I’m

completely different person in school and at home. At school, I’m a quiet and shy girl but at

home…. You’ll discover that there’s a big transform in me from a shy quiet girl into a noisy hyperactive monkey.

            Most of my friends was kinda surprise when they discovered my ‘’real-self’’. And some of em nearly faint. Lol. I was juz kidding. HAHAHAH! =_= Lame….

             I know almost like 90++% girls in this world hate snakes. Strangely, I’m different! I LOVE snakes! (Python is my fav btw~) Why they so scare of snakes? They are sooo CUUTE and they r beauties!!! And spiders too!!! Ohh!!! And bats! Awww…0w0 They r soo adorable! They r sooo ‘fur’y!! >< I wish I could squezeee em! ><
 

             Alright, here’s a funny experience when I was young: I’m a kinda ‘boy-alike’ when I was young. It happened when I was standard 2. For some reason, my mom ALWAYS asked my uncle (who is a barber) cut a ‘boy’lish hair for me every time I go there for hair-cut. =_=’’ This cause a lot of ppl misunderstood me as a boy! WTF!? 0_0’’’  Some people keep asking the same question like :’’ OMY! Y he’s wearing a school girl uniform!?’’ And some of em even said:’’ WOW! He’s HANDSOME!!(LOL)!’’ Ehem, Excuse me!? I’m a girl! >O< After I realized my problem, I go begged my mom for not to cut me a ‘boy’lish hair EVER AGAIN!

              Okay~ That’s all for now!! I wanna go and make my sisters scream. :D Farewell.

Traumatic Stress strikes back!

    Alright, well, I always get stress easily and I think I’m mad. I just can’t forgive myself. T^T I always blame myself due to some flashbacks. Now, I'm really really REALLY sensitive to what others people think about me so I always try not to do smth stupid and that's why I always very very nervous in front of people. In that state, I'll start to panic and I found trouble in thinking or planning the next move. So, now, stress becomes very part of my life. Here's a situation I always face:

    This situation often occurs when my friends ask me some question. Most of the time I can’t give them my answer cuz I’m having trouble thinking. My brain becomes very damn ‘jam’! So they turn away and ask another of their friends. This makes me think I’m a very slow react-person and lack of intelligence. I start to blame myself after then and become stress. I know you guys will say there’s no need to blame urself or no need to think like that. B¡­.Bu..b..But, I just can’t control it!!!
 

    Here’s another situation that even worst, People making fun of me. This sure will make me feel   even harsher and even painful. The ‘ill some’ memory take a long time to be forgotten. When I’m blaming myself, I feel like I wanna kill myself or someone nearby. My fingers won’t stop stretching my skin due to stress, not till I calmed myself down.

    I know this is stupid, guys. But.., If I didn’t do smth soon, its gonna turn me into a zombie. I dun wan stress take over my body and it will affect my future!!! I dun wan to become a monster. I can’t control my emotion! Help, guys!